Ripped from the headlines

"Her co-workers found her in a crumpled heap at the base of the treadmill. The machine still whirring at a dutiful 5.4 mph. She always seemed like a person who was in relatively good shape. Nobody could understand it. Then the autopsy revealed the cause of death that only a few had suspected: Stage 4 Boredom."

"It's no wonder. The poor girl was looking at this for the better part of an hour. " The chief of police said.

Pictures of the crime scene:

While I appreciate my company answering our request to have a fitness room in the new building, I'm not sure it will do any good if they don't get a tv or at the very least a radio. I don't think that is asking too much. Every Wednesday I come in here for a last chance workout before Weight Watchers and today I forgot my iPod. I tried running 4 miles.

I JUST COULDN'T DO IT.

I did 2. Fine. I'll take it and get the rock out of here.