9 Miles, but I didn't wanna

I soooooooo did not want to run today. I didn't want to be outside today. It's cold in our house, it's cold and windy and overcast outside. I ate a big brunch and was sleepy and it was about 3PM. If you can imagine then, try, how much I did NOT want to run 9 miles. I wasn't thinking when I put on my running clothes. I think I was still in denial that I was actually going. My body was moving in that direction but my brain refused to believe. In fact, on the drive to the lake, my brain seemed to be saying - best of luck, not sure how you plan on running 9 miles without me. My legs were clearly on their own. Sometimes I can visualize my run. I know the distance I am going to go and I can see me doing the entire thing. Even through the rough spots. Today, I couldn't see anything. I would have bet against me. Luckily, my legs took over and did it with no moral support. Thanks legs. You really came through.

I'm still not sure how I managed to do this today. I'm still bitter about having to go at all. That's about the dumbest sounding thing ever. But sometimes you don't have a choice. Or rather you decide you have no other choice.

We went to Punch pizza for dinner tonight. That made the evening WONDERFUL. I think I should have Punch pizza after every long run. Now that's a challenge I can get behind! Speaking of challenges, I've been doing the Jillian 30 Day Shred with a friend. We are 6 days deep and it IS actually starting to get better. I seemed to get weaker before starting to get stronger. Hopefully this upward trend continues. But seriously, I like the Punch challenge. I am going to see how many weekends in a row I can eat Punch Pizza after a long run. It might get difficult, but I think I can rise to the occasion!

Last Thursday I had the best swimming day to date. I swam 100 m in 2:15, 10 times. I was quite pleased for two reasons. 1) I always love a challenge I can feel successful at. What's the point of having a completely absurd goal that you won't reach for 7 years. Why not instead make smaller goals that still make you work but can make you feel successful when done. I couldn't believe I could just keep going. But I did, and I finally, for once, didn't feel overwhelmed at swim class. 2) It was a hard workout for me, but I did the whole thing. I feel like I am becoming a better swimmer (not to mention the wonders swimming has done cardiovascular wise with running) but also the workout was more within my reach. Someday soon I'll build up to the real workout he planned for us: 100m in 1:45, 10 times, but until then it's nice to be able to know you worked really hard and did the thing.

Pizza and Beer: The demise of a good runner

Last night's run was so much less than satisfying. I know I can do better. I know I run better than that. I was trying to do to much. I was trying to run without walk breaks and try to run 10 minute miles (on average). Neither happened. In fact I ended up walking far more that I usually do: 12 minute miles was more the pace. But that isn't the too much I was referring too. That should have been a challenge, not "too much". No, last night we went to happy hour because of the looming threat that an old hangout would soon be closed and we felt we had to visit one last time for nostalgia. I drank 3/4 of a Mich Golden Light. Blech! Why do I even bother? I bothered because it was cold and I new I was running so I didn't want to over do it but still wanted a brewski. And we ordered a pizza. I had 3 squares and a triangle.

Which - side note - how come when pizza is cut into squares you can eat the entire thing because, heck, what's just one more small square? But with slices, you're like "2 slices, whew! I'm full!" Hmmmm.......

Anyway, I left dutifully at 7 with some remorse that I even mentioned I was running because then people were like "You better get going" - Yeah, well you're not the boss of me! (just kidding). I fed the dog and headed out about 40 minutes after the pizza. I'm pretty sure I would have been ok with 3/4 beer sans pizza. Typical symptoms, lump in your stomach, heartburn, lethargy. And I only had 3 squares! And a small triangle. So, it was too much to reasonably think I could get happy hour and a run in (in that order). I keep telling myself time and again, get your "job" done before the fun but also, I'm never one to be left out of a party. I couldn't bear the thought of warm sun and cold beer, pizza and my friends having the best time of their entire lives.....without me.

The run sucked on a number of levels. First though, it had to be one of the most perfect days weather wise. I at least enjoyed that a great deal. But my hamstrings were so sore. This was a real shock to me because I'm never that sore. I never have injuries. I started running with my left leg straight because it hurt Mr. Hami to kick back with my leg and my right leg was doing all the work to compensate for the lack of thrust coming from the left. I think this means I need a rest. POOF! Done. I'm headed to Chicago with a friend today. Just because I'm a jet setter like that. To Chicago. Randomly. And I signed up for a 10K on Sunday - Share Your Soles. The online registration said there were 183 participants so I should be fairly easy to spot. I'll be last; I'm not getting my hopes up or anything though :) Rest today, walking and sight seeing tomorrow and I should be right as rain by Sunday. Ready to try out those 10 minute miles again because in a race scenario - anything is possible!

Blissfully in Denial

Life is pretty good right now. I just returned from a trip to visit my parents in NM, a destination which I love and will forever miss. We finalized the design for wedding invitations that mom will be making. All 120 of them. By hand. And they will be perfect because mom won't settle for less. Even though I would. I bought a wedding dress! It really happened so quickly. I can't post a picture because my fiance reads this. Infrequently, but I can't take that chance. There will be plenty of pictures later I'm sure. It looks amazing though and if I can lose 10 pounds I'll be able to breathe in it! That's a joke. But it is tight - like OJ Simpson glove tight. And that is no joke.

I'll be heading to Vegas with some girl friends in a couple of weeks and it is going to be a BLAST!

Except for that pesky 13.1 mile run I promised to do while there. Enter denial. Holy cow! I haven't been running regularly and last week I didn't run even once. My training has been pathetic. I did have a glimmer of hope a few times there when I did long runs on the weekends (twice) but it's gotten bad again. And the thing is, I'm not worried. Oh, I know it's gonna be a hard race because of my lack of training. It makes me a little sad because it feels so good to really rock a race and this one I will just be running. It will be like a really uncomfortable long run instead of a race I am psyched about and ready to conquer. Should I be more worried than I am? Maybe, but I still feel like I can do it. I still believe that I am in good enough shape to wing a 1/2 Marathon. Huh. Well I guess that is some kind of accomplishment. Me? Winging 13 miles?? Other people can do it. Why can't I? We'll see.

I'm not down and out yet though! I've got 3 weeks left and I'm not planning a big taper. If I can get up to 11 miles again I'll feel ready. One thing that the denial is helping with is that I still believe there is time and at the same time I understand that time is running out so I feel like I am in a good position mentally. I've got all of the urgency with none of the guilt.

4 Score

Emily - For one million dollars, here is your question:

How far are you going to run today?

A) Only as far as it is from the couch to the bathroom
B) The scheduled 4 miles
C) 1 furlong
D) A shortened 3 miles and I probably won't finish that

Ummmm. Uh. I'd like to use a lifeline and phone a friend.

I called just to complain at first but then she asked "Do you want me run with you?".

"No. (because then I have to run) OK fine. Yes."

On some level I must have known I had to run. I skipped having a beer at the company fun outing. I called her knowing full well that her response was likely and when we started running with the intent of at least 3 and we will see how we feel at 2 I said we have to do 4 because I have to get that done today. Another day won't work this week. The answer then, was B. We ran 4.

So thanks Allison. Couldn't have/Wouldn't have done it without you.

You know those runs where you don't want to go, but you put your shoes on. And you calculate how much you can cut back and still feel like you gave it a reasonable effort. But then you come around, pick up the pace and feel completely invigorated and bounding with energy when you are done. And you wonder how you could have considered skipping out on that feeling???

This was so NOT one of those runs. I felt tired and crabby when I started and the feeling continued until the last step and breath. And guess what today is like? More of the same. But I ran dang it.

Putting the Slow in "Long Slow Distance"

Ok - I stole that from about 5 other bloggers, but seriously? One of top 5 worst runs EV-AR!

1. Torchlight 5K 2007 - Hot, hot, hot and humid
2. Riverfest 10K 2008 - the altitude killed me
3. Last two miles of the 1/2 marathon
4. 8/14 6 mile training run!!

Ug. I have to think that there is a point to the taper week. If this 6 miles was instead a 10K race I wouldn't have been lifting weights every morning at 6AM, I wouldn't have run much and the race would have been ok. So I think then, that the fact that my legs were spent from a workout on Tuesday and I was tired from working out this morning compounded to give me "The Worst Run Ever". BUT - I did it. That was want I wanted. I wanted to do it. No matter how I did it. I said in a previous blog post even if I had to walk 3 miles, I'd do it. I dang near did have to walk that much!

I walked for the better part of the 4th mile and then ran the entire 5th, but was finished after 5. I ended the last mile by doing 1 minute of walking and 1 minute of running. Then .10 of a mile running and 1 minute walking, then finally jogged (yes jogged) the last .30 miles. Phew! I think I should mention that I kept the average pace under 12 minutes even with all the walking.

I am right about at a good exhaustion level for my lasik. I should sleep like a baby when I get home! See ya'll better tomorrow! :)

And WHY did I not take two weeks off work to watch every minute of the Olympics??? I am watching them now waiting to go to the Dr.'s office and this is great!

24 Usable Hours in Every Day

Ug. I feel horrible. And not because I am 30.

It's because I ran 4 miles last week. Not 4 for my long run. I mean 4 total. That's 10 short of what was scheduled. With the birthday party and all the preparation, there was NO TIME. And it really really bothered me all last week. I guess I am just going to have to carry on and do the best that I can with the time that I have. This weeks menu looks like this:

M - 5 miles
W - 3-4 with hill repeats
Th - Lasik surgery
6 miles??? When will I feel good enough to complete that?

This sucks. What can I do? How can I make myself feel like I am doing all that I can? I want to squeeze everything in, but I know myself too well. I don't do well physically or mentally with squeezing a bunch in. There is only so much squeezing I can handle.

I don't know. Maybe it's just Monday, and I'm complaining because it is hard to come back to real life after such a fabulous weekend. I hope I'm more optimistic after my 5 miles tonight.