Mother Runner

I am a mommy.  For 2 whole months now.  It's nothing like I ever expected.  Both in terms of work and love.  I was worried that my plans to get back into running wouldn't work out because I ended up having a cesarean.  Not so much the natural birth I wanted, although I did get to experience it for 18 hours.  I healed up nicely and after 9 weeks am able to run.  We had our first women's running class last night. 

I know what you're thinking.  "Oh my gosh! She's the cutest baby in the world!!!" I know right?!?!?

It was EXHILARATING.  I remembered some things.  I'm a runner.  I love to run.  I'm not sure I can even describe how great it was, but since this is a blog and that's sort of the point, I'll try.  I've left Clare before for a few hour here or there.  Every time I do, I'm always wondering what's she's doing.  Worried if she's crying and I miss her like crazy.  Cuz you know..I love her.  Except for last night.  The weather was perfect (God must have know that anything less might have discouraged me).  When we were running it was like everything was exactly right.  I didn't think of Clare at all.  It was me and my own thoughts and all of these wonderful words and thoughts came to my mind that I would write about here.  A very welcome break.


It was very humbling, yet with the experience I've had as a runner I was still confident.  I know what I'm capable of.  But it was so very hard.  That's the humbling part.  Here I was in a group of people, some who have never run in their lives and I was numbered amongst them.  But I had run.  It's weird to not be able to do what you could once do with ease.  I'm talking about running for 2 minutes.  2 MINUTES!  It was rough.  My legs felt like bricks.  I was out of breath.  But in eight weeks I'm going to be able to run a 5k.  No doubt.  

Nothing ever felt so right or natural to me than to be running again.  To be with a group of women.  To do something on my own, for myself.  Everyday has been a question.  Are you hungry?  Should you sleep now?  Are you bored?  Are you over stimulated?  Should I be doing more with you?  What should you wear today?  And everyday I think I have no idea what I am doing.  But I know how to run.  No question.  Exercise is so good for the soul.  It felt nourishing to me.  I cannot wait to go out again.